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Betrayed

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Reply with quote  #1 
My friend is appalled by the thought that I want revenge on the person that I consider to have ruined my life.  My husband has done wrong and is trying to make amends, but she has not shown any remorse to me at all.  My friends response was, why should she?  

I assume that as a human being and if you have accidentally done something wrong that you never thought possible and hurt people in the process, then you would show remorse and regret.  This OW hasn't, my assumption is wrong.  She isn't a decent human being and she didn't care that he had a wife and three children, even though she knew of us, and people she knew, knew our family. That is why I consider her responsible for messing up my life, she has had many opportunities to say sorry and she hasn't, he has.

Maybe if she had said sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I wasn't thinking, I would have more compassion for her as a human being.  She didn't do this which has demonstrated to me that she didn't care and clearly did this because she wanted to.  As it is, she is still working in the office and causing me pain by not letting me heal, I am constantly on guard and brought back down.

How do I move on with her still in my life?
crumpled

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Reply with quote  #2 
Hi Betrayed,

It is a very difficult situation when the OW still works with your husband and one that I have no experience of personally.  All I can say is that I would find the situation incredibly hard to bear and I could not even contemplate being with my husband in that situation.  It must be incredibly hard on a daily basis.   Hopefully when she finally moves on you can forget she existed and try to rebuild what has been broken.

A great song at the moment says' we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again' - how true, keep strong, she will move on eventually.

[smile]
crumpled

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Reply with quote  #3 
All I would say is that is takes two.  So your husband shows the remorse and regret, so he should!  She doesn't owe you anything, she may have known of you and your children, but it was up to your husband to say, 'No' to her.

I believe in Karma, what goes around comes around, she will in time get her comeuppance and you should rest happy with that.  You should work on yourself and your marriage with a husband who loves you.  Make it stronger and better than before, be happy, that is the best revenge, you got something she wanted, that makes her feel worthless.

I know you probably hear that often, but it's true, it's only human nature to want to hurt the person that has caused your pain.  trust me and all those other people who tell you - being happy is the best revenge!
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